Tales of the Old World

The Garden Party

Chaos is the best word to describe this hysteria, and likely Chaos is behind its creation. A demigriff was loose, apparently set free. Its eyes goggled as though it as it ran into the maze, and though I could not see this, I could almost sense that fear. My first reaction would have been to try to soothe it, but it was headed towards folk and I could not risk them to stand in the path of danger. A frightened animal is a very dangerous one. Of course I’m looking over the fact that it’s most likely a creature of Chaos and should be put down on that fact alone.

Before this, there was a scene with the witchhunter, or so I’m told she is called that. Someone named Templeton had died in the Southlands during the expedition and this angered her. Of course, being a rather distrustful and suspicious person, I would not rule out foul play there. Most brow raising is that later after this was all over, Otto claims to have been told by this woman (who is likely even more paranoid that I am. Yes I admit that I am.) that Kaufman is the man in the Black Hood.

I find this doubtful, though I could of course be wrong. I see no logic in it. The man has everything, why hide in the shadows when you already have public power?

There was also the scene between Kaufman and the Luminary. Illuminary? Luminary? The self-important wizard proclaimed the Jade Mask at the exhibit to be evil, and of course being a treasure to Kaufman, he argued against this.

But I digress, the demigriff is loose. I quickly scaled the same tree I’d been watching from earlier, with a great deal more ease than my embarrassing struggle with it the first time. I’m an elf dammit, climbing and jumping is my forte. To the top of the hedges I lit lightly, a leap to be made, and what?!?? I landed, true enough, but I very ungracefully face-planted leaving a few scratches on the side of my face. Lucky I turned my head or I’d likely have lost an eye.

Jaimyn had run into the maze before me but he and the beast had disapeared within the hedges, and though I could not see them, I could see the hedges shaking and banging about, and so to them I turned.

As I arrived at the scene, the demigriff had Jaimyn’s shield between its beak, though Jaimyn seemed quite in control of it. I fired my newly gilded crossbow and struck hard in the beast’s neck. Otto’s voice cried out above the din, “Don’t kill it!” Jaimyn bashed the beast again, and with that it was subdued and I lowered my reloaded crossbow.

I had not seen there was a Gold Wizard in the fray until the fight was over, and seeing him in dire need of healing, I rushed to his side and did my best. Granted, I am not a healer by any means and had I failed, I would have killed him, but he was only human so it really couldn’t hurt but to try. I surprised myself and succeeded.

Now the reason for this great concern of danger in the maze is the fact that there were people within it. The silly Amelia had declared a chase into the maze, whoever finding her first would gain her favor, whatever that means to humans. Now this brings me to a suspicious point. Was her declaring this chase a social diffusing of the scene that had taken place, or was she helping in creating a distraction for whatever would be soon be occurring in the tent whilst the maze event was being dissolved? I’ll not dismiss any puzzle piece until the whole picture of this mess is solved. I have very little doubt that the beast was set loose as a diversion, but for what? I later found out from Otto and Octavious that this was likely over the Mask.

Simultaneously to the subduing of the demigraff, Otto had left the maze and ran into the tent. What occurred there I can only garner by second hand information, from Otto no less, so who knows how inaccurate that may be.

Apparently he accused Kaufman of being the Black Hood without verifying any facts and going on the word of a vengeful and likely delusional Adele. Had Otto been smarter, which of course he is not though he likes to think otherwise, he’d have held that information and investigated this claim first, watching Kaufman for any actions to verify this accusation.

But Otto being Otto, guns were raised, our bald priesty person ran in and bulleted the cranky old geezer across the tent, and an angry storm dissipated. The strained peace would not last long, for a noxious, if not poisonous gas, had been set a-spew inside the tent. There was a struggle for air, for life, and for the Jade Mask. The geezer had been slashed in the back by a being he described as short and hooded, and the tracks (of course I can track, I’m an elf, thank Loec) appeared to be steps marked by clawed feet.

In the end, our party had regrouped and all this information shared, but still…nothing had been solved.

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NOV/2014

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Nov 30, 2014

A Dwarven Perspective

I find myself still enmeshed in the happenings of these humans, and though I am patient, it feels like I’ve been in this place for months, when it has actually been a much shorter time. Even the dwarves I’ve met in this place have left me with an ill-feeling in my stomach – children of Grungni who seemed to have lost their way, perpetuating the stereotypes which so much of humanity has foisted upon us. Either way, I will be glad to be gone from this place eventually, though I must admit, my tolerance for it has grown.

That is not to say that there aren’t good people here, because there are. I am still searching for one such person, Jurgen Kulinski, who has gone missing for about a week now. His wife, Olga, continues on, remaining as strong as she can considering that her husband has disappeared. She does not think I can see the pain in her eyes with each passing day, but I can. This man saved my life, when no other human nearby would come to my aid, so I owe a debt (which dwarves never forget) to him. So it seemed a small thing to search for him until his disposition is determined – one way or another. I still hold out hope that we shall find him alive, but if not, I can only hope that whatever human god he worships will take him under their wing, for he is a good man.

Each day that passes without making any headway into our investigation has been dreadful. Each day that passes likely lowers the chances of finding my friend alive. These humans who live here seem content with taking their time finding out what happened, as more individuals go missing! Ute, the street performer, has gone missing a few days hence, and just last night Fritz has disappeared without word, as well. When you add in the bodies that have been found recently, something is obviously amiss, and few in the city seem willing to lift a finger to discover what that is. I wager it is because most of these people come from the lowest ‘class’ of human society – if these missing and dead were nobles, I’d bet my beard there would be greatswords and rangers scouring the city from sewer to rooftop! I had even considered for a moment writing to my father and taking the initiative to seek his aid. If I only had a unit of ten Ironbreakers at hand, we would get to the bottom of this deviousness in short order! But alas, writing home would simply undo my plans, the very reason for my being here – so for now, I must stay my quill and parchment.

So, our band of wayward miscreants travels on. Today – this morning, in fact – we find ourselves hired as ‘security’ for an event hosted by Friedrick Von Kaufman. He seems to be an ‘explorer’ of sorts, having recently returned from the lands of Araby with trinkets and oddities galore. I know very little of such things, but my curiosity was readily piqued to see what this man might have returned with. We were told that there would be artifacts as well as a menagerie of beasts on display. I agreed to be a part of this endeavor, if for no other reason than to sate my curiosity. True, the pay offered by our employer – Curd Weiss, was… adequate, and added just a bit more incentive to our efforts. When we were told that many important individuals would be present, Lise nearly leapt out of her boots with excitement over the prospect of being able to mingle with such folk. Otto seemed eager once we learned that the Gravin Alptraum would be present. It seemed we were destined to attend.

In regards to the Gravin, it seems Otto has taken quite the shine to her. I am not sure what the ‘mating rituals’ are of these humans (and I am not sure I –want- to know), but Otto has taken to scribing missives to her, in hopes of winning her heart with words. Such nonsense! If he were wise, he’d set out on a quest to retrieve the head of some suitable beast (perhaps a troll or similar), and return to her with the trophy as a show of his prowess! That would surely get her heart racing and knees quivering, and she would have no choice but to realize that Otto was a man to be taken quite seriously! But instead, he toils over parchment, like some would-be scribe. I won’t rub it in when she rebuffs him, though. That would be too cruel. Besides, there has been –some- good to come of it so far. Otto seems more… calm, relaxed, as he does his best to put on a more mature and focused demeanor. He’s even taken to prayers with Brother Octavius, and has been far more generous with his coin-purse as of late. Otto even recently offered me a gift in the form of a pistol (though its quality is far less than those I am accustomed to back home). But I have to say, for a shifty, unpredictable thief, Otto might very well be on his way to turning his life around. But, I digress.

We arrived at the Averburg Garden this morning just before the ten morning bells, prepared to perform the acts of ‘security’ that we were hired to conduct. Otto had attempted to gain access to the place the night before so that he might survey it ahead of time – but was denied. Just as well, I suppose, there’s no telling what manner of trouble he would have gotten up to.

We were given a tour of the place and noted the various landmarks to be seen. There were tents set-up for the occasion, and of course the somewhat impressive (for human craftsmanship) wall of the Averburg formed the backdrop of the locale, and a large hedge-maze could be seen off to one side. A line of cages – the menagerie – drew the eyes of several of us as we were shown the various creatures present. Some I did know based on descriptions from various stories and tales (I had never seen a cockatrice before!), and others I did not know. A demigryph and a giant spider were also fascinating to look upon – in fact, if I had to admit it, I would have to say I was impressed.

As attendees began to arrive, Curd asked us to don outfits bearing the symbol of our employ. Some of our number balked at this – I took one and donned it over my armor, not caring. I had no fancy clothes to cover up.

The attendees were not as high in number as I had anticipated, but they were made up of the wealthy and influential.

Gravin Alptraum was present, of course, and I am not certain if Otto has yet to take his eyes from her. I confess, she is a comely woman (for a human), but Otto is obviously hopelessly smitten. She was accompanied, of course, by her shadow of a man-servant, Geislbert – the type of man that mothers would tell stories about to scare their children with, for he has a surly look about him, and his personality is not much gentler.

A nobleman by the name of Thodosius Tuchtenhagen and his entourage arrived soon after, the epitome of wealth and arrogance. He came with several other individuals, one of which was a fool named ‘Hogweed’. These humans and their names! Hogweed? Seriously? Thodosius himself was insufferable, and I made it a point to keep my distance from him as much as possible, lest I not be able to control my urge to introduce him to the taste of Gromril metal! Try as I might, I could think of no reasonable explanation why my gauntleted fist might ‘accidentally’ collide with his mouth.

The Luminary Konrad Maur arrived, and I could not tell if Master Peander was glad for his arrival or not. Wizards, I am told, are a jealous lot, yet I can not be so sure. We dwarves do not have ‘wizards’ by the common definition of the word. We have runesmiths and such, but we do not traffic in the affairs of the winds of magic like some of the other races dare to do. ‘Tis a chaotic undertaking, and we dwarves tend to avoid such things. Still, if it is Peander’s wish to truck in such dangers, so be it. Something told me that Peander did not like the man, though I could be mistaken, for even when Peander has a liking for something, his look still gives one the impression that he is, for the lack of a better term, ‘grumpily satisfied’.

My eyes were surprised to see the good Lord Aschaffenberg arrive as well. He did not have his beautiful wife in tow – but instead, he had Roling Mumphy following behind him. How the dimwitted Rolling could have survived this long, avoiding beastmen and kitchen accidents is beyond me! I pondered for a moment why the Lord Rickard would bring Roling all this way with him, enduring the man’s prattle, and then it dawned on me – the Lady Aschaffenberg likely –insisted- that he take Roling with him. That simply had to be the answer.

I was also curious to see the arrival of the –shortest- party-goer, Waldemarius Laomdelve – a halfling. I have not had much interaction with their kind before, but in general I have heard they are a kindly people. Waldemarius, from what I had seen, is a high-strung individual, though. Perhaps it was this city that caused so many people like Waldemarius to become so grumpy!

My mood soured deeply when I laid eyes upon that lout, Captain Baerfaust when he strode onto the grounds as if he owned the place. It is said that he was a hero of Blackfire Pass… though I have yet to see any evidence that would indicate such a thing, so for now I am forced to take it on the word of others. I learned that the ‘good Captain’ actually struck our companion Lise not long ago – a delicate, unarmed woman! – and that alone was enough reason for me to put his name in my book of grudges! Lise has proven herself an able companion and a reputable lady, and the thought of the ‘hero captain’ raising a hand to her really yanks my beard! Why, if he was amongst my kin when he did such a thing, he would have been beaten profusely, shaved from head to toe, and tossed out of the Karak on his head! There is no honor in striking a lady, and if he was this great hero that others claimed him to be, he would know that.

Other persons of interest arrived, dressed in their finest clothes – at least, persons of interest to someone other than myself. I began at that time to focus less on the individuals, and more on our surroundings. We were hired to perform security, and that’s what I planned to do. That didn’t mean I had ample time to sit around pestering visitors to the event, nor did I even have much time to speak further with Eisa or Octavius.

The official event began with a display of falconry. It was quite an impressive example of skill and training, though I couldn’t avoid the mental images of the bird plucked and cooked to a golden brown upon my plate. I said nothing about that, though, knowing such thoughts would not be welcome, and might in fact be insulting to the man conducting the performance. The event ended with a soft, reserved applause from those gathered, and then the group dispersed towards the artifact tent.

Inside were elegant displays of artifacts brought from Araby and beyond, according to Graf Kauffman himself. While they were somewhat amusing, one of them drew the attention – and ire – of some of the guests. The Luminary seemed beside himself upon laying eyes upon it, and a great and heated discussion ensued. Should it be taken away? Destroyed? Or ignored? I truly cared not for the trinkets, and instead, I half-listened as my eyes surveyed our surroundings, keenly watching the grounds for any signs of mischief. Tensions were high in the tent, but no punches were thrown (sadly), no weapons drawn, nothing but the heated words of angry people were exchanged. Even Waldemarius found himself feeling the urge to depart during the proceedings, and I pursued him and convinced him to remain.

Thankfully, Roling did not make his usual nuisance of himself that my companions and I were accustomed to. He was by no means stationary or silent, but his annoyance factor was subdued. It was strange watching him interact with others – including with the fool, Hogsweed. Personally I think the two of them would make an excellent couple!

In an effort to try to lighten the suddenly damper mood, one of the human girls, Amalie, proposed a game of hide-and-seek. She would enter the hedge maze, and others would wait for a time and then seek her out, the one finding her receiving some small boon, perhaps. This seemed to have a generally positive effect on those gathered. I was prepared to wager a few coin on Eisa being the person to find Amalie first, as I was confident no one would out-track our Eisa. But, it seemed to me that it might be ‘unprofessional’ for any in our band to participate since we were officially supposed to be ‘working’

Speaking of Eisa, she has not spoken to me much as of late, ever since we had that longer conversation at the Journeyman Inn some nights ago. Personally I think she is attracted to me, and is internally warring with herself about it. I am used to such things – at least from the dwarven lasses. But why would Eisa be any different? She has a keen eye and obviously recognizes good breeding potential when she sees it!

Amalie disappeared into the hedge maze for several minutes, but then suddenly there was a great cry from the direction of the menagerie cages. It seemed that one of the creatures, not content to remain imprisoned within its cage, had escaped. The demigryph was out and about, and it was quite the dangerous creature. From my understanding, it is a gryphon without wings – which meant that it was a formidable predator.

It seemed that we were going to have to earn our pay after all.

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SEP/2014

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Nov 26, 2014

Otto's Note to the Gravin

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Your Grace,

My eyes have feasted on many a vibrant sight in the Reikland: The kaleidoscope of brights that can only be seen in the Gardens of Altdorf, the Eichfreud Delta on the River Grissen; even the Reikwald Forest where they say the shades of green cannot be duplicated with any dye or paint. Yet, each of these thoughts are bleached like sunbaked earth. I swear my memories have been cursed with colorblindness since looking upon your beauty for the first time.

I know there is an insolence in me – I swear by Jaimyn’s beard that I rarely take liberties or show a forwardness in my attentions, but once I saw you I felt as if I was possessed by the Goddess Isha herself. Regardless of station, I had to approach – to be bold. I feel a closeness to you. A desire to serve you – to protect you – to be whatever you need me to be.

I have to say that you gracing me with the gift of correspondence has lifted my spirit greatly. To be honest when I am near you the things I want to say struggle to pass my lips. I’m afraid that your presence ties my heart and words in an embrace I hope to never escape from.

My dearest Clothilde, as soon as I rid Averheim of “The Hood”; and my friends rescued, my only wish is to once again reward my eyes with the only colors I can now see…

Your Humble Servant,

Otto

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SEP/2014

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Sep 15, 2014

No rest for the wicked.

After the kerfuffle with those ruffians, I checked to see if the Gravin was harmed. Just frightened, fortunately, and no injuries. One marauder rode off. The rest lay slain around the coach.

Brother Octavius checked the bodies for tattoos or signs of taint, but found none. When Otto examined their possessions, he found several pistols, some with the marking of Averheim—pistols used by the watch. The least filthy of the bandits was also wearing an Averland uniform. From the Mountain Guard perhaps. This uniform and these guns are Government Issue from Averland and its capital. This will make a juicy tidbit of gossip: scandal, corruption and Baerfaust is probably involved somehow.

As if there weren’t already enough unpleasantness for the Gravin this day, Otto opens the door to the coach and addresses Clothilde. He was love-sick and drooling and babbled some sweet words. Then he had the nerve to ask for permission to write her. Oh dear! She smiled magnanimously and said that he could. I am so glad she took pity on the poor wretch.

Brother Octavius provided some measure of healing to those wounded, with Eisa being the most severely injured. The wizard tied the bandit’s horses to the coach. Some of the horses were branded, and I can almost remember the mark. The bodies were loaded over the horses’ backs. We continued on to the Gravin’s manor, while Peander was on the lookout for tracks from the raider who got away.

Of course, Peander spotted a trail going off the road. The plan was for Eisa and Otto to track the bandit while the rest continued on. Peander led a horse into the wood so that Eisa and Otto could reunite with the rest of us and share information. Before that plan could pan out, Peander and Jaimyn found the camp. Otto and Octavius were not far behind. Eisa and I stayed in the coach with the Gravin.

Otto returns with a frightened ragamuffin. He tells us about the unkempt camp and the man they found there. Jaimyn, Peander and Octavius stayed behind to question the man. Scent of wood smoke drifted on the breeze. We question the girl, who apparently is the cook for the band.

The men return a few minutes later and share what they learned. The last survivor of the failed heist was persuaded to tell them about his boss, Hector. He was the one in the Averland uniform. Hector worked for “The Hood.” This is another tie between the troubles in Averheim and the highway robberies.

The Gravin decides to see after the girl’s welfare, and we take her with us the manor. The von Alptraum home is magnificent, and Clothilde was a gracious hostess. We were fed a fine meal and gently healed before we returned to the city. When the coach drops us off, he tosses us a bag of 30 silver.

Not wanting to parade corpses through the city, when we reached the gates, I insisted we be taken to see Captain Baerfaust immediately. He greets us (if you could call it that) and walks us to a more private area, where there was a large hedge, a vast lawn, and on the far side, some cages. I told Baerfaust the story, leaving out talk of the girl, the guns, and Otto’s shameful licentiousness. Of course, in return, Baerfaust does not offer to share anything. It’s like pulling teeth from an old horse.

We then go to Curd and tell him the same story, only this time, we did mention the guns. Jaimyn offers up his two. Curd pays us 60 silver, plus some interesting small talk. You won’t believe this: Kaufmann had proposed to the Gravin. Is there a heart she has not yet broken? Curd also told us those cages are for creatures that were captured during Kaufman’s expedition to the dark south. There is an upcoming gala where the elite can learn of the exotic expedition and Kaufman’s findings.

Curd made arrangements for us at the Journey’s end. Otto goes to look for Ute and spends the night in her home. The next morning we are breakfasting together when we are joined by Graf von Kaufman. I was thrilled beyond words that he would grace us with his presence. He came to hire us for additional security for this gala, which he called “just a garden party.” Otto then starts a hard barter with the Graf, 30 silver for each of us. I was so embarrassed and appalled at his lack of obeisance. Otto requested access to the site that evening, for reconnaissance. He was later denied, because of his rudeness, no doubt.

The party is at the Averberg Castle! I’ve dreamed of going there since I was a small girl. Thank you, Sigmar, for this gift! We are to report for work at 10:00 am tomorrow. We spend the rest of the day in preparation.

Brother Octavius bought some meat and opiates. Hmm… Otto and I go shopping for clothes, and we find him a dashing suit. Otto learns some disturbing news from an acquaintance named Hans. It turns out that Fritz (the stalker) is missing, and some beggar is not in his normal spot and can’t be found. Poor Ute is still missing.

Now of course, I must find the perfect dress.

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AUG/2014

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Aug 25, 2014

Erasmus Post #6 - The Lovely Lady takes a Ride

Averhiem is not a small town. No indeed, rather it is a large city in one of the oldest provinces of the Empire, a home of industry and immense wealth. So in light of this, I find it bewildering that when it comes to the order of Colleges, its denizens behave like the meanest mongrels of the smallest mud washed Thorpe in the Imperium. There seems to be little respect in this dung heap for those who wear the White. In places where the colleges aren’t recognized as the protectors of the realm that they are, I at least find the respect that fear induces. Generally speaking even a commoner knows that a Wizard is a fearful master of the arcane, capable of handling the very winds of Magic and worthy of polite respect. Yet in this social dustbowl petty servants demand absurdities from those who bear the staff. Like this puffed up swine herder Curd Wiess.

I’ve met his sort before. Born likely of middling wealth, but outside the gentry, his fondest dream is to be inducted into the perceived grandiose heights of the upper class. His pretensions have pretensions, and he treats all those whom he believes he can not be threatened by with airs and scorn. It’s much like the village idiot who thinks that if he could just make it into the swine herders guild he’d be something to admire, and spits at the good folk of the town seeing himself as a cut above.. I cannot understand why my fellows are taken by him. Octavius claimed he could aid us in our investigations, and Otto was similarly convinced. I think I’d rather be lit on fire than spend another minute in the presence of Curd Swine Herder, however I have been away from the fellowship for a while now, and I feel I must endure this red herring so as not to lose contact with them entirely.

We were introduced to a plan to try to draw out bandits who are suspected of waylaying Red Arrow shipping in the local woods, and putting a scare into them that would end their predations upon the outfit. One Lady Clothihed von Alptraum was to be used as bait to draw the bandits out, while we (my compatriots and I) were to be liveried in the Arrow’s colors and pose as guards to the Gravin. Now it is all very well and good that Otto, Octavius, and the veteran Jaymin were to be so fitted, however what sense is it to thus cloak Lisa or Eisadryil? The pair are clearly slight ladies, and hardly appear as the warrior breed (though in both cases appearances are deceptive). Yet more absurd is it to so equip an old man with a walking stave. What a fearsome warrior I’d make, limping forward in the charge, but beyond the obvious brainlessness of that plan, I wear the White! I bear the searing light of the college of illumination and what could impress such banditry more than facing the wrath of an enraged wizard protecting the personhood of the Lady? I think the collective wits of the empire are draining out into the south sea, I have encountered such vacancy of the head since my leaving Altdorf. Naturally I refused to don the livery.

The Lady Clothihed von Alptraum however, was a bright spot in an otherwise dismal day. Lovely and charming, she turned a drear ride into a pleasure outing. Typically I find little in the nobility of the empire to recommend it, however the Gravin was a happy exception. Decked in finery, and wearing more cut stones than an overturned jewelers cart, she none the less outshone them all. She played her part well, displaying her wealth as the Red Arrow carriage was paraded about the city, so that any fool with a sword would be tempted to accost us upon the road; then headed east at a leisurely pace. I cast a glamour of protection upon both the Gravin and myself to ward us from harm during the journey. I must acknowledge that Lisa is very capable of entertaining even the highest ranks of the nobility. She has a surprising versatility, capable of charming the commoners as adroitly as the upper classes. A very clever and helpful companion indeed.
It weren’t long after our leaving the more populated outskirts of Averhiem that my senses caught on to the fact that the coach was being followed. As our pace was slow it is no surprise that this was so, and the ostentatious display of the Gravin’s wealth in the city made such a thing quite likely. Soon we were stopped on the road by some cut trees, and I was able to quietly alert Octavius about our being shadowed, and he perfomed a rather wet examination of our perimeter, discovering a concealed trail paralleling the road. This served to increase our awareness, and I believe prepared us for the ambush which came next.

A group of riders approached the stalled coach from beyond the cleared trees, and the lead among them demanded that the Gravin toss out the Alptraum diamond. I imagine that must be the pebble sized rock perched upon the Gravin’s right hand. Of course we refused and a fight ensued. I cannot well describe the battle. Each of the approaching bandits were mounted upon horses and equipped with powder weapons, a more well equipped group of thugs is hard to imagine. As I have an acute allergy to bullets, I spend my time hopping in and out of the cart hurling bolts of penetrating light into our assailants. It was Otto and the Lady Gravin’s man Werther who did the most damage, tearing into the grouped bandits with their powerful blunderbuss weapons. The fight was quickly over, with the same Werther taking down the leader with a powerful blow and only one chap escaping. I can only assume that he was let go, to report back to his fellows not to mess with the Red Arrow shipping any longer.

I cannot imagine that the fact that each of these men had a horse, and expensive armaments has been lost upon my companions. Hardly the type of equipment one might expect from common bandits in the woods, and also how they operated quite close to the city is quite odd. Where was the city’s road wardens? Where the local watch? It’s all rather convenient and suspicious. I hope the desired message was delivered, however I cannot help but suspect that whatever the message, it went to someone a bit more connected than a bandit camp leader. Something isn’t adding up right in all of this.

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AUG/2014

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Aug 21, 2014

The road to Averheim is paved with the bones of the unpure

“I am the Hammer.
I am his word in this land,
I am the bearer of His blessings.
I am the Gauntlet about His fist.
I am the Bane of His foes
and the woes of the treacherous.
I am the End”

Blessed be Sigmar and his holy hammer.

Contrarily to some of my companions, I welcomed Curd Weiss’ offer to inspect the road on which some convoys had been lost. Indeed, what seemed like a petty mission could very well provide leads as to who wanted to disrupt commerce in the city, and especially the arrival of gunpowder, which was in itself a threat to the safety of the city. I felt inside me that this Black Cowl was part of a larger conspiracy to weaken the Empire.

By a dreary and rainy morning we left the city on foot, using my dear old Silver to carry the excess gear, as well as Fraulein Meitner. Her garment was most irregular: had she not been wearing riding boots, her dress would have revealed her ankles. I shall have to atune for noticing this. I cannot afford to be distracted by such matters, not when I am so close to priesthood…

Our job was to find go to the Welcome Inn on the road, and ask if they had seen the missing coach. Easy enough, it is about 12 miles from the city. The missing cart was transporting fine silks from Cathay, a few crates of wine and some black powder. Heavy rains from the previous night turned the road to mud and may help tracking the wagon, had it gone off-road.

An hour after passing the city’s North Gate, we encountered a garishly adorned wagon (a moving shop it seemed, with many drawers and collapsible stalls on the outside), driven by an old woman wearing a wide brim hat. Otto tried to take a look at the content of the drawers and got the attention of the wagon’s other resident, a dog. He decided to give up his inquisitive manners before I could get my cat o’ nine tails ready to chastise him… A discussion ensued, but we did not learn anything useful from the old lady. She had not seen the Red Arrow wagon on her trip, which was a bad sign. Lisa bought a red scarf from the peddler and we were on our “merry” way.

The landscape around us was rolling hills criss-crossed with rocky paths, clumps of trees from time to time. Eisadryil Sunblood soon spotted a set of recent wheel tracks getting off the road. Lisa Meitner dismounted and started checking the side of the road. She spotted a strange creature: brown beard, pointy ears, very large and square, and the legs of a goat … A Satyre ? A beastman ? He took off and scampered into the wild. Fraulein Meitner came back to us and explained the strange encounter. I could not let such an altered beast escape and searched in the direction Lisa was coming from. I soon found more tracks from the wagon and followed them. They led me to a creek, where more mutated monstrosities were eating and drinking around the wreckage of the Red Arrow coach. These vile creatures were drunk and arguing. They had slaughtered the ox that was previously pulling the cart and eating it. Most of the bottles from the shipment were opened, the keg of powder was opened and part of its content had poured into the water already. The silk seemed untouched. Outnumbered, I decided to go fetch the rest of our company, to prepare a proper ambush. Alas, Sigmar judged this attempt at stealth as cowardly, and I was quickly spotted by the monsters. Some of them started fetching their weapons, other were already charging. I decided to retreat in orderly but swift fashion so as to bring the beasts toward the rest of our group.

Battle ensued… Lisa and Eisadryil provided ranged support while Jaimyn Chakir Yarekson and I rushed to contact. Otto prefered a more subtle approach and started flanking the enemy, but was intercepted by the very same goat-like creature that Fraulein Meitner had previously encountered. Several crushed skulls and pierced hearts later, we were victorious. The satyre, named Tom, somehow negotiated with Otto for his safe passage, against some information: he mentioned that another group of similar brigand was part of the same outfit. We noticed that all the corpses wore the same scare mark, cut into their flesh: a crown with 3 prongs. This could be an important information.

We turned the wagon upright and recovered what could be saved: some powder that Otto kept for his blunderbuss, several bolts of fine silk, and a couple bottles. Silver would pull the wagon for the rest of our journey. We followed several bloody tracks along the creek, and found the remains of the driver. What was left of them, that is. It seemed the creatures had eaten most of him. We buried what was left of them and I provided a short prayer for the safe departure of their eternal souls. We gathered some wood and burned what was left of the corrupted creatures. With our duty done, we resumed our trip toward the Welcome inn.

The fortified inn by the road shared its grounds with a convent of shallaya: the Shallayan Institution of Treatment. I paid the sisters my respect and cleaned myself from my enemies’ impure blood. Otto decided to follow me, but was more interested in the sisters’ wiles than in their wisdom. I made sure he was no trouble to them. The rest of the group settled in and used Curd Weiss’ note to get room and board. The place was very comfortable and we spent a very restful night there. After a solid breakfast, we departed the next morning and headed back to Averheim with the recovered wagon.

As we reached the city and made our way to the Red Arrow on Festag (the day of rest), we noticed Averheil was very quiet and covered with a light fog. Weiss was satisfied with the result of our mission and paid what he had promised. He had another job for us, and we were to visit him the next day.

We later investigated the crown shaped tattoos we had noticed on the mutants. It belong to a cult for mutants, which was once powerful and was now only the shadow of its former self. We inquired about Ute’s whereabouts, and discovered that she was still missing.

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AUG/2014

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Aug 08, 2014

Averburgers in Like Shape

Stormy nights and swollen wounds.

Day Three – (Konigstag): Morning

It did not take long for the deprived dock community to notice that their corner musician was not at her traditional post where she had serenaded the local drudges for years now. After finding no trace of their beloved Ute, residents sought out newcomers who had proven their virtue over the last few days. But, the desperate workers had barely tugged the ears of the heroes when a crowd was spotted at the Geruch Weg mudflats.

Just as witnessed the previous Backertag, a discarded body lay dead with evidence recurring. This time however, the Luminary Konrad Mauer attended- sandwiched by members of the Aveberg watch. To the crowd he voiced that news of this sort has begun to reach more delicate ears upon the Aveburg. And, that Captain Baerfaust urgently requests that this mischief be quelled. Eyes then fell to the newcomers adorned in armor, choice weapons and fine clothes.

Day Three – (Konigstag): Noon

It was over bitter beer and energetically peppered meats and black leafed tea for the glib-tongued Mauer that he affirmed the hero’s findings from Backertag; that the replicated wounds were indeed affected by an unusually vile poison. And that the injuries where indeed magical in nature. Chaotic to be sure. What the Aveburg Intellectual said next was news indeed. That little-known brass tiered Aveburgers in like shape have appeared in the lower districts in recent weeks. When suggesting that the disappearances of Ute, Klinski or Haller may be linked, the critically thoughtful Konrad points out that he finds no evidence linking the two.

Day Three – (Konigstag): Later that day

Aside from stopping in at the musicians residence to verify and investigate her disappearance, the party was located by a well groomed man favoring Blacks and Yellows soliciting the their services for a ‘most important task’ over the next week or so. It’s a job that pays a fair wage and has a potential to answer the question of the delayed shipments that the unlucky merchant was waiting for.

A meeting is set for the next morning at the office of The Red Arrow.

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APR/2014

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Jul 31, 2014

Blackest Night

I pen this hastily as I rest from a most unsettling encounter. I had feared discovery, and I suspect my indiscretions in openly using Hysh the other day down at the docks has undone me; cultists have come for the painting, and done so in a most blatant and brazen manner. As my companions settled for the night in Her Deuter’s cottage, I noticed that there was something amiss with the relic. Investigating, I discovered that it has been replaced by a blank canvas! I cannot explain to you my dismay at that moment, the thought of this ancient artifact of evil once more unsecured in the world brought to me a nearly throat closing fear. I panicked and was uncertain of what to do, long have I suspected that something was not right in this city, but I had not thought to look to chaos cults as the answer. No, indeed I thought this city to be clean, I was a fool. No habitation of man is safe from the tendrils of the Lords of Chaos. I didn’t have time to dwell upon this disaster however, for immediately upon discovering the loss, I heard Otto messing about in Deuter’s bedroom. Assuming the young man was into that which he ought not to be, and already stricken with emotion, I flung open the door with a scolding upon my tongue, only to find the lad encircled by chaos tentacles growing from the floor and being tossed about! Two massive lengths of purple flesh extended from the flooring from under Deuter’s bed. I immediately cast a glamour of defense upon the lad and ducked back into the main room to seek help and summon the winds of magic. I began to center myself, and seek to balance my emotions. As Hysh coalesced about me and I wrestled with it to conform to my will, I could hear poor Otto desperately fighting for his life. Octavius emerged from the guest wing armed with his mace and shield and rushed to Otto’s aid. I tried to gain his attention for I have a glamor specific to combating the spawn of chaos, but he ignored me and charged the beast. I was set to follow, to do what I could to help, but then from the loft I heard the scream of Lady Lise and the sounds of deep gurgling that could certainly not come from either of the ladies above. Leaping upon the oak table in the center of the room to get a view of the loft I discovered the two ladies in a desperate fight with a demon of some kind, flailing at them with long rubberlike tentacles of its own. I unleashed Hysh into the beast and it screamed and flailed about itself with abandon. Suddenly the partition broke and all three fell from the loft to the hardwood floor beneath. Lady Eisa, with the grace of her kind, danced across the body of the demon while they fell together, recovering her bow and alighting upon her feet. Lady Lise however was not so fortunate and fell hard injuring herself. The Demon however received the worst of it, bursting as it hit the ground and releasing a nauseating mass of viscera all across the floor. By this time smoke was filling the house, pouring out of the kitchen hall, and the sounds of an armored battle could be heard from within. Jaymin’s voice was yelling the battle challenges of his race, and he was likely engaged with yet another armored horror no doubt. I could also still hear the sound of Otto and Brother Octavius battling in the bedroom, but my ears picked out the sound of chanting under the din, and the front shutters were leaking the minutest amount of green light from between them. This is when I knew we were dealing with a deliberate attack, originating from outside the cabin, not from within. Lady Lise was dressed in her small clothes and covered in the demon’s body fluids. Choking upon the thickening smoke I grabbed my cloak for her, and then ran for the cabin door, preparing Hysh to strike down those outside. Throwing open the door I found a small cabal of four standing around the painting which was the source of the green emanations! I threw darts of Hysh at one of them and dodged back inside, throwing myself to the floor to avoid the certain return attacks from the cultists, as well as the fumes within, and cried a warning to Lady Lise to do the same. As I gathered Hysh to myself once again to continue my attack against the cultists, Jaymin came charging out through the smoke directly at me, rage in his eyes. I thought for a moment that he was bent upon killing me, but rather he lept over my prone form and smashed the entrance mirror with his hammer, which had been ensorcelled by the cultists as a scrying device. He then continued his charge out the door and into the group scattering them. One had folded the painting and clutched it tight to his chest as the four began to run from the enraged dwarf. As I regained my feet and hurried outside the whole lot of them were fleeing across the storm swept streets of Avernheim. Summoning Hysh, I blinded the lead figure carrying the painting, while Jaymin made quick work of the wounded cultist. From behind me darted the lithe form of Eisa, crossbow in hand and in the blink of an eye another cultist crumpled. I was spent, there was nothing left in me after this desperately paced fight and I began to hobble after the fleeing forms with no hope to catch them. The blinded cultist had a great lead and though he was not steady, he dodged behind an alley and I could see him no more. My gorge rose. Jaymin did not give up pursuit. Dodging past the last cultist who was doing what he could to cut the dwarf with a sinister looking blade, he followed the bearer of the relic around that same corner where he was once again forced to face his assailant. Jaymin made quick work of him. Praise Sigmar that once I arrived we found the relic on the ground, in the rain, next to the unconscious body of the cultist who had carried it. The man had run into the gabled wall of a two story townhouse and knocked himself cold. Cover of the storm or not, this was an unlikely assault, using such visible and blatant black magic within the city. Never mind that Dueter’s abode is a bit off the beaten track, it is still within the city limits and easily seen by hundreds of sleepy eyes. This is madness, and only increases my determination to find a way to destroy this terrible conduit between our world and the chaos warp. We are beaten, tired, and wounded, and I face a long night of cleanup. We also have at least once cultist among the living, and I also imagine that I will have to explain myself now that the painting has been revealed. Sigmar help me, and save your servant.

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APR/2014

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Apr 08, 2014

Let's Have a Barbeque

This is a fine pickle, and as sour as they come. In the process of helping our band of bumblers I have somehow alienated Captain Marcus Baerfaust. Lady Danzlyra is not going to be happy. She will be doubly unhappy when she hears that her bribe of “sample” cases of her wine to the Captain are now sitting at the bottom of the river where the burning ship sunk.

Now could it be that Mr. Stark’s ship was set ablaze because of any of Lady De’Fafnyr’s rumored contraband that travels hidden amongst her shipments of wine and silks? I highly doubt it. It would be stupid to taint wares that would be destined as a city captain’s (bribe) gift of good will. And Lady D is not a stupid woman.

So why WAS the ship set ablaze? Was something else on it that arson’s wanted destroyed? Was it not the contents of the ship that was the target, that instead it was meant to be the Stark’s murder?

Hopefully Lady D. did not sent word to G. VonAlptraum regarding similar sample cases of wine, because that’s at the bottom of the river as well. So far my mission on Lady D’s behalf is a complete fail.

Capt. Baerfaust suddenly acted like I had horse manure on my boots.
I cannot contact VonAlptraum empty handed with the wine in the river.
Do I dare make the third contact in the Temple of Verena or do I risk my person catching ablaze as well?

All this time following that little dwarf for Lady D and her desire to make amends, and this little mission of mine veiled behind the visit here to Peander (what a fortuitous letter of invitation that was, thanks old wizard) and I’m sitting here smelling of smoke and missing an eyebrow.

I… am… cranky.

The dwarf is growing on me though., maybe I can get him to scratch this pestering itch.

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FEB/2014

All work and no play makes Otto a dull boy.

I like to think of myself as open-minded. I believe rules – especially in social interactions – are loose guidelines at best. This mindset has provided me many an opportunity that would be lost on those trapped by the shackles that come with fair play, instructions, laws, etiquette, etc. As long as you know what you need to pacify your audience you can enjoy life and definitely experience some fun.

Unfortunately, my companions do not feel the same way.

Each of them seem devoted to something – magic, employers, Sigmar the Passive Aggressive, love – the list goes on and on. Not to mention, dare I say it, a personal code of ethics shiver. I mean these people are serious. They embrace the rules like Heinrich embraces my leg when he sees a poodle.

Let’s start with Earwaxmus. The old dude is awesome. He can make fire, shoot lazer beams out of his eyes, shit flames, you name it. Who wouldn’t want a friend like that? However, he is constantly angry. Even when he’s not noticeably angry, he’s disgusted. For example, this morning I saw him on the panzerfaust, and casually called over to him. You would think I hit him with a overripe tomato. I came over and he was sulking, reading, picking at his food – welcoming each and every person with his trademark scowl – like someone took a dump on his plate. I tried to brighten his spirits, but to no avail. Although, I did notice that his demeanor picked up when Leezy came over. Maybe he’s just lonely for some female attention? WAIT A MINUTE!! It just hit me! It just so happened he noticed some villain was following him right about the time she came up and joined us! Coincidence? I DON’T THINK SO! I ran off to get EisaneedamanbecauseI’mahelplesself so we could assist, but he was just getting rid of me! The old curmudgeon has some game!!! Yeah, there’s an obvious age difference there – we’re talking epic proportions – but who knows? She could be attracted to the hair sticking out of his ears, or maybe that goiter on his neck. Anything is possible. Maybe if he had some time alone with her it would pick up his spirits? Of course I would need to break her heart. She follows me around like a school girl, begging for attention. “Look at me Otto! Check out my ankles! Take me! Take me!” Rich girls are the worst. Repressed.

We walked around a bit, talked to some people, saw some people dancing, blah blah blah. It was all the same “See my friend the fisherman?, Why is the world falling apart?, Otto will you save me?, Kiss me Otto!” It was all getting really old. However, things picked up when we separated. I convinced Jaybird to take a walk with me back to the pansieforrest to look for the same guy that Erasmusauraus sent Eisaneedtostartwearingunderpants to follow, knowing good and well we’d never find him. I just wanted to grab a beer in a great bar. I was thinking this would be the perfect chance to get to know the dwarf. Besides his obvious elf infatuation, I know nothing of him except that he’s from Krakarakalama. I figured a few beers would loosen him up. I actually thought we lost the rest of the group until I turned around and saw my little groupie Leese quietly following behind. Poor thing.

This is where I differ from my pals. As we’re walking along we run smack dab into a mobile tavern!!!! No kidding! It’s like this castle on wheels and it’s a DWARVEN BAR! People are screaming, yelling, serving drinks, partying – it’s a friggin’ party! I turn to Jailtime and try to get him to come with me – No deal. I PICKED THE ONLY LEMON OUT OF THE WHOLE DWARVEN KINGDOM! He wouldn’t even visit with his brethren. He just walked off. Well, I wasn’t going to waste this chance to expand my cultural education concerning dwarvenkind, so I went inside.

I have to admit, now that I think back the details are a bit fuzzy, but I do remember seeing hairy dwarven breasts, knocking a guy out with a rock, drinking some of the stiffest beer I’ve ever had, and to top it off – being fired out of a catapult! It is quite possibly one the best exchange student scenarios I could have asked for. As I flew through the air I could see everything – my kingdom!!! I even saw fireworks being shot up from the dock area!!! When I landed in the hay-filled wagon, I walked out to the roar of the crowd! I remember being hoisted up on shoulders and being made king of all the Dwarven lands.

That’s when I heard the voice of Brother Ovarian telling me we needed to go. He didn’t even kneel! I was going to say something when everyone appeared at once to congratulate me. Somewhere between “Otto I give my body to you” and “Otto I am now your squire” I remembered the fireworks at the dock. When I mentioned it to the group they started dragging me down the street. It wasn’t exactly a regal procession.

About three blocks down my head was starting to hurt. I’ve had hangovers before, but not with that quick of a turnaround! The group was talking about explosions at the dock when we saw two guys running past us; the opposite direction from the boat. I have no clue why, but Jamel and the wizard ran after the two guys. I could have followed the rest of the group down to the docks, but when I saw Eradel face plant on the cobblestones I knew they were screwed.

We followed the two guys into the Pig where magic started flying! We had one guy frozen in place, and the other running through the kitchen. I chased him thinking I was going slice his ass in half, but in my head I couldn’t help but think “What if this guy is just late getting home from bar? Why are we chasing them in the first place?” Before I knew it I was hilt deep in the guy’s side, rays of light were blasting his eyeballs out of his skull, and I felt like throwing up. What’s really weird is when I stabbed the guy I heard this evil laughter – which I have to admit unnerved me. That’s when I noticed the damn Goblin dagger in my hand. I thought I had traded that away? Oh well, I just stuck it in the pack again – whatever.

Walking back out to the main bar area, J-Rock was holding the other guy by the scruff of his neck. The guy’s leg looked awfully broken. I have a feeling he’s going to have a matching one after we’re done talking to him. Which brings me to right now we’re all sitting around talking. Apparently Eisahero saved a couple kids and a woman from the burning, sinking, merchant ship. We’ll never hear the end of it now. Brother Orifice almost drowned – he needed the debutante to save him. Sigmar to the rescue? Ummmmmmmmmmmmm no.

Guess what? THIS IS WHAT I CALL FUN! We definitely need to do more of this…well, minus the headache.

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FEB/2014

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Feb 23, 2014

Herding Cats

In the uplands of Middenhiem there is a saying, “Tug a Wizard’s robe and reap a Wizard’s wrath”. It’s a good saying. It’s concise, direct, and more or less true. It is also ignored with distressing regularity. I was contemplating my morning supper, which consisted of boiled eggs, a sweet-roll, and a dirty spoon, when I heard the unmistakable melody of trouble over the crowd. No hunching of my hat would hide me from the enthusiastic companionship of dear Otto. The young man has, if anything, acquired even more volume since our last outing together in the summer, but regardless I was pleased that he responded to my request to attend me in Averhiem, if not also with my morning meal. I cannot recall his prattle; I can only seem to remember that I lost my appetite and developed a tick in my left calf. I did however, in my quick search to find a means of extricating myself, observe that I was being observed. It is not uncommon for a bearer of the White to receive nervous attention in a crowd, the dictums of our order prevent us from blending well with the local color, but this rat faced fellow was intent and measured in his observations. One of the things that both distresses me and causes me moments of admiration is young Otto’s ability to change his focus upon a mere moment’s notice. After indicating to him that we were being scouted, I had him off to convey a plan to Eise to turn the tables on the rodent. I would retire to my usual roost at the Journeyman , and between the two of them they would observe and follow the fellow to see where his nest was to be found.

A little later, much sooner than I would expect, I was summoned by our Huntress from the Inn. Surprised that she could have tracked the ratling so quickly, I was informed that things had not proceeded as I had intended. Were only that this was an occasion for surprise. I must admit that it was my own fault for not taking the time to write my intentions into an essay to be delivered in triplicate, with LARGE s l o w letters. Upon convening at the platz with my earnest comrades, I found that they were contemplating battery upon the rat faced snoop, and as Lady Lise was dressed for war I could only guess that she approved. I was distressed that the young Octavian had not disabused the gathering of this clumsy notion, but perhaps I misjudged him. There are those of the order who view the spreading of the faith more suited to the swing of a blade than pedagoguery. I will withhold judgment for the meantime. Needless to say I dissuaded them from brash action and encouraged the more measured approach of spy and counterspy. Eise became petulant regarding my not having advised them upon why they have been summoned to Averhiem, and I cannot entirely fault her for that. Were I to fully disclose now, before I am finished with my arrangements, there doubtless would be much misunderstanding. I hadn’t expected the death of the archeologist and it has set me back. I did what I could to comfort a naturally suspicious soul, and was saved by the arrival of a group of troubadours and quietly made my escape back to the Journeyman. It is my eternal optimism at work you see, thinking we had at last settled upon the plan to discover the lair of the rat faced man (lyric intended, trite, but personally entertaining).

Imagine my utter lack of surprise to once again be summoned by Eisa later that evening to attend a second group gathering, learning that nothing of the advice I had offered had in fact been followed. What is it about the young that they cannot maintain a span of attention that extends beyond the length of time it takes to consume a pint? How mankind has ever managed to produce anything more complicated than a sharpened stick is ever a source of wonderment to me as it is beyond reason that we should survive our early years to develop sense enough to conjoin purpose with patience. The rat face man was no longer on their collective consciousnesses, rather now they were off to track down Herr Kaufmann which somehow had trumped investigation of the rat; with Otto attending as drunk as a gutter wretch. I would here typically add a witticism on the rarity of common sense, but the demonstrated lack thereof has stunned even my cynical pen.

As I was about to (once again) reacquaint my fellows with reason, Otto revealed that he had heard an explosion down at the Averhiem docks during his drunken escapades. Stepping about the street to gain a better vantage, indeed a column of smoke was rising from above the rooftops. Collectively we dismissed our concerns and hurried in that direction, for fire in a wooden town is not to be taken lightly, even if within its watery quarter. Upon arrival was found a scene of chaos. There was a conspicuous lack of watch presence, a fact that I have filed away for future consideration, for upon the docks was a vessel hosting an inferno. Fleeing the scene were two suspicous suspects whose very behavior stank of arson. Jaymin, Otto, and I gave chase, and I summoned a glamour. Things from thence forward happened rapidly. The two suspected criminals fled to a common tavern and sought to make their escape within. I brought one villain low for Jaymin to collect with a surge of Hysh, and followed Otto into a kitchens area in pursuit of the second. There was a flash of a blade and he and this fellow were engaged in mortal melee. I would not suffer this and invested Hysh once again to the fellows end. Then, I saw it. Clasped in Otto’s outstretched hand was the relic blade from the hunting lodge.

I was an idiot to have let him take it! I should have suffered his threats and forced him to hand over the weapon when we recovered it from the cult. I knew no good could come from letting such an artifact loose with him, but I allowed my sentimentality to rule me. Old Fool! Better his friend suffer the mortal death of his captors than Otto be bound up in forces he cannot possibly understand nor control. I blame myself entirely, and now I must address my error. I pray that Sigmar and all the God’s intervene on his behalf, and that whatever damage has thus been done can be undone before dear Otto is!

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FEB/2014

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Feb 18, 2014

Welcome to the circus of values

or ... to suffer fools gladly

About mid-morning, Eisa and Jaimyn went to visit Captain Baerfaust, responding to his invitation. When they approached the garrison, they saw Baerfaust and made eye contact. Baerfaust spoke to his assistant, who then approached Eisa and Jaimyn. “The Captain can’t see you now. Something has come up.” The nerve! That man is not fit for good company.

The elf and dwarf returned to the plaza, which was bustling with merchants and their customers. Certainly there are business opportunities here. I spotted that older man in robes, the one with the limp, Peander. When I started to approach, my vision blurred and sounds faded out. A disconcerting experience, to say the least.

We ordered food from the halfling baker. It was not proper breakfast, but it would suffice. Jaimyn noticed a man he had previously seen on the docks. This man seemed to be watching Peander.

Peander hobbled slowly back to Journey’s end while Eisa shadowed the hooligan. He doubled back and met with Eisa. Fritz is his name, but we did not get any useful information. Not yet.

Performers started dancing in the street, immodestly moving in suggestive ways. A man handed me a flyer to see some spectacle happening elsewhere in the bazaar. It promised a live manticore, which did pique my interest. However, I wanted to get more information about this purloined shipment of gunpowder. But then there were more distractions.

A small mountain rolls into the marketplace. In turns out to be a dwarven brewery. Oh dear. I tried to distract Otto with something shiny, but he was reeled into the pub-wagon like a fish on a line. I attempted to get him to focus on the task at hand. For him, that meant a rock throwing contest. I dismissed him as a lost cause for the day, and went to retrieve Brother Octavius from the Temple of Sigmar. I asked the Brother to join me in paying a visit to Graf Friedrich von Kaufman.

Brother Octavius and I were returning to the Pillar of Skulls to meet up with the others when, overhead a flying man was screaming and flailing his arms and legs. The Brother said, “That, I believe, is Otto,” and whispered a prayer, no doubt begging Sigmar for mercy on the sinner’s soul.

We find Otto, alive, drunk, and wearing a new hat. Between belches, Otto told us about his amazing journey through the sky. We regroupws and discussed meeting with Graf Kaufman or Curd Weiss.

Then Otto remembered. “Oh yeah, and whiles I was up there, I saw an explosion at the docks.” Then he proceeded to belch the word, “Kaboom!” The whole group made haste to the docks. As we approached, we saw Adolphus Stark running from the White Horse towards a burning ship. He was frantic, yelling for help and begging Sigmar to save his family.

Two very suspicious men were running away from the burning ship. What cowards! A warm healing light started to emanate from Peander. Then he followed the suspicious men to the Uppity Pig, with Jaimyn and Otto right behind him.

Eisa, the Brother, and I head towards the burning ship. The Brother attempted to jump onto the ship, but he stumbled and fell off the dock. Eisa boarded the ship and broke down the doors to the cabins below. She heard crying from Stark’s wife and children and found them trapped. Eisa was able to move the chest that had blocked their escape, and they quickly ascended to the deck. By then the ship had moved away from the docks and had begun to sink. She told the children to jump into the water and swim to the shore. Eisa singlehandedly saved the Stark family from going down in a burning ship.

After the loud splash of Octavius, I heard nothing else. I looked over the side, but there were no signs of him. I dropped my gear, unwrapped a length of rope from a mooring, and jumped in. Fortunately, I found him (or he found my ankle) and we managed to make it to the surface. The fool still had his shield and hammer.

Back at the Uppity Pig, one of the culprits was engaged with Otto when his flesh was literally cooked by Peander’s radiance. A fitting end for an arsonist, I must say. The other culprit was blinded from Peander’s light. Jaimyn showed restraint by merely subduing him. Once they had the situation under control, Peander raised an eyebrow, “Tell me, Otto….how is it that this dagger still your possession?”

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FEB/2014

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Feb 17, 2014

F is for Failure

Today’s log entry is brought to you by the letter F for completely fucked.

Here’s another f-word – fatal – which describes Freddy Goets’ hired muscle. While I was talking to my musically-inclined friend Ooot, digging for valuable information, the Fuck-Around Gang went to play on the beach and ended up finding the corpse formally known as Klaus. They came to the conclusion that he was poisoned, which I’m sure came from the fetid bill of fare at the Uppity Pig.

I shared the facts that I uncovered concerning who Klaus worked for, as well as the whispers of some new underworld boss who is putting a stranglehold of the city’s corruption. I believe an enterprise of this magnitude should be laid out in a more divisional structure – you know what I mean right? Prostitution, gambling, smuggling, drugs – they all need to have their own management teams – they need to stick to their core competencies. I tried telling our little Ship of Fools that anyone trying to run a business with this far reaching of a scope, without diversifying and under an antiquated management structure such as a silo, would surely fail. Synergies people, Synergies!!!! Do you think anyone would listen? Ooooooooooooooohhhh no. Drop everything! We have a fat-fingered fisherman with a gambling addiction we need to save! What’s that? Rolf is missing too? Rolf was a frivolous, fanciful, felonious fellow who knew what he was getting into. Yeah, he was a friend, but if you stick with this line of work you need to understand there’s consequences. You need to be mobile!!

I guess at this point I should have left, but if anything I’m faithful to those not able to care for themselves.

We immediately went into “Let’s get to the bottom of this!” mode. As we stealthily bungled along, I was once again verbally Sigmarred by the fanatical Brother Octopus. I’ve never been keen on the Gods, or anything that drips of sanctimonious self-sacrifice, but he definitely sells the whole “Judgment Day” angle. Think about it – if things really do erupt into a fiery apocalypse, what side of Sigmar’s balls do you want to be on? I prefer the sheltered side – by the asshole. If all it costs me is a couple silvers on occasion, one or two “bless me Sigmar, for I have sinned….”, and listening to Octorvio lecture me on the evils of the world, why not hedge my bet? One man’s extortion is another man’s eternal get out of hell free card.

Our first step was to find Klaus’ killer. That of course was fruitless. We questioned a few folks, and of course I drew the short straw and ended up talking to Shitty Bill. Shitty sells fecal matter on the docks. As we talked my heart started to bleed for him. Ostracized. Fat. Gross. Uncouth. It’s basically Jaimyn without the facial hair. As I looked back and forth between the two, I knew that if I didn’t do something to help Jaimyn feel some sense of worth, to help him realize his goals, this could possibly be his fate. I made an oath at that moment to do my best to help him avoid failure (even if he did embrace it like an old lover).

Eventually I got everyone to help me search out some gunpowder for my blunderbuss. Carrying it around and never using it is the equivalent of Brother Occupy attending an orgy. Unfortunately, there hasn’t been a shipment to reach town in a while. It looks like someone is keeping it from being imported, and the only people who have it are the watch. Since I’m not exactly popular among the uniformed, I’ll just lay low for now.

Our next clue brought us back t the Uppity Pig. Why? Freddie G. We figured if Klaus was dead, his boss would be the next logical place to look for information. When we found him, he was in the corner surrounded by the rest of his crew. The moment he laid eyes on us, he seemed surprised. When I asked Fleez if she noticed him, she surprisingly said no. If she didn’t know him, then she didn’t hire him way back when to get my ass out of jail! I tried explaining to her right then the whole situation concerning her key and sigil ring and that I assumed this guy had worked for her. Instead of complimenting me on my quick wit, and obviously dreamy eyes, she scolded me like an infant for turning her things over to him in the first place! What in the hell?!

While we bickered, FG made a break for it with a couple of his thugs. By the time we all got our bearings, they were already in the street. I knew it was up to me to stop them. I quickly calculated the distance, strength, and coordination needed to make a somewhat mundane maneuver that would allow me to get in front of them. As I took off, someone tripped me! The end result? I flipped off the half wall, corrected, and landed in the perfect stretching position in the alley!! Once again, cat-like reflexes saved the day. As I laid there, making sure my glutes were sufficiently flexed, who stuck their head up over the wall and laughed at me? Lil’ miss Eisagotacaseofthegreeneyedmonster. I took a mental note.

We ended up getting them to stop and talk to us. Fred barely withstood Leaze’s inquisition concerning her stolen items. The barrage of pleases, thank yous, and excuse me’s were almost too much to bare. Who could possibly stand up again such inhumane interrogation tactics? He finally decided to “get back to her in a few days”. In other words – go pound sand. When they left, the brain trust decided that Eisa and I would follow and see where they went, which we did. They ended up outside of the town, at the graveyard. I told Eisarian that one of us had to go back and tell the group, but she sat down and patted the ground next to her and said, “Come now Otto, look at what a beautiful evening it is. Let’s count the stars…together.” I just shook my head. I obviously can’t turn it off. I told her to keep her head in the game and ran back to the bar to tell everyone we had a Code 11 – horny elf with zero attention span. We needed to get back before she lost sight of them.

By the time we made it to the front gate there was Isis. She had apparently done her job and followed them back from the graveyard to some house in town. We immediately headed to the joint. It was in a very nice part of town – a side of town I usually don’t get invited to. The house had two guards. Instead of letting ourselves in through an entrance with less traffic (which is always my suggestion) we decided to send inspector Puh-Leeze and her sidekick Icecube to mesmerize them. I was so sure this would work, I got into a heated debate with Father Octet and Jailbait concerning the difference between breaking and entering and simple trespass.

After they tried pleading, begging, bargaining, bribing and finally sniveling – they got another audience with Freaky Fred. Guess what we learned this time? Jackshit. We don’t know who lives in the house. We don’t know who the new kingpin is. We don’t know where Rolfe is, or Jaimyn’s fishing friend. Our lovely upper class damsel in distress doesn’t have her items back. Yeah, we have a little bit of information, but that’s about it. I think I said this before? Fucked.

It was getting late so we decided to turn in for the night. Now, I was fine with doing a little more exploring under the cover of night, but I had a potential cat fight on my hands. Eisatope and Suhleezy were both eyeing me up and down like Jaimyn drooling over a stein of bitter. On one hand I’ve got the elven “dwarfinatrix” trying to lure me to her room up at the Inn, and on the other hand the obviously frustrated wolf in courtesan clothing excreting a trail of pheromones for me to follow to her apartment on the upper side. I have no time for this…at least not tonight. Instead I decided to put my time in with Brother Oppenheimer over at the temple. Better safe than sorry.

After a night of sleeping on a bed of freshly spun granite, and a breakfast of oat drool, me and Octford headed to the Up and Coming Pig to meet the rest of the group. As we got close, I heard the sounds of distress coming from an alleyway. Brother O said “That my young acolyte, is the sound of a female crying. I would know it anywhere. It happens every time I tell a woman I’m married to Sigmar”. We went to investigate, and sure enough we found a young gal who was in dire straits. Apparently she owes a lot of money to the local loan sharks with no way to pay it back. We quickly came to the conclusion that this poor waif, this poor downtrodden puppet, would be the perfect way for us to connect with someone who may have information we need.

We let on that we’d help her, and brought her back to the Pig. When we all got together, it took little in the way of coercing before she blurted out her passion for “dice”, or something else, at the local den of iniquity. Yes, I had been there before, and even though it was early in the morning, I felt we could still get in. You should know that although it’s rare, once in a while you get a glimpse of a unicorn, hear the Siren’s call of love, and find me wrong. This is one of those times. Regardless of what we tried, the best we could get out of the deal was a promise to let us in tonight when they reopen.

So now I sit here watching Jaimyn pick his nose, and wondering what it’s going to take for us to get a break.

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FEB/2014

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Feb 12, 2014

Otto's Fan Club

By the hair on Sigmar’s balls – I’m back in Averheim!!! If I had to hang out in that run down hunting lodge for one more day and listen to the babbling of those bores, I would have bludgeoned myself to death with Peander’s staff. The only reason I even ended up at Asshatenburgs’s was to retrieve that stupid dagger.
Before I go on, let’s get a couple things straight – I wasn’t responsible, and I didn’t pick the people that I travel with. If you keep that in mind, we’re all good.

So you want to know why I’m back? Good question. Let me give you the thirty second rundown from the last adventure.

A young, handsome, intelligent, charming, rapscallion is paired up with crotchety old man, a dwarf with little man’s disease, and a snooty elven maiden (or as I like to call her, “Iron Britches”). They pose as movers to help some Lord figure out the loyalty of his staff. Aforementioned young, handsome, intelligent, charming, rapscallion uncovers chaos plot, kills villains, saves everyone, and does all of it with a bad back. What’s that? Did he hurt it in battle? No, he threw it out while carrying the rest of his team!

Anyway my mission was to get that dagger, which I did. No one seemed ticked off that I took it, so any awkward conversations were avoided. I needed to head back to Altdorf and deliver it to that shady toad so I could save Heimlich. Before we left, Asshatenburg put a few coins in each of our pockets. He even let me keep a short sword, and the blunderbuss. Of course I have no ammunition for it, but it’s definitely intimidating. So, not unlike thoughts of Eisa, the fantasy is usually more interesting than reality.

Only three of us headed back to Altdorf. Pedanderlion had other plans and left on his own. To be honest, I almost begged him to come with us. I had been protecting him for so long, I felt somewhat obliged to watch out for his decrepitness. I sadly waved to him as he hobbled off. Safe travels you old ball of hate!

The three of us made it to Altdorf after several days on the road. Jaimyn and Eisa spent a lot of time together; training, shooting, and “talking”. It would have been touching if it didn’t make my stomach turn. Thoughts of a dwelf kept popping in my head. Talk about a new level of ugly. Regardless, after watching how adept they are with their weapons, I couldn’t help but appreciate what they bring to the table. I believe if they had been members of the Broken Locks when the gang was caught, I may not be sporting these scars. Then again, the scars definitely give me an advantage when dealing with certain social elements. And the ladies love ‘em! I guess everything’s for a reason.

When we arrived we went our separate ways. Once again I felt a twinge of sadness. How could I not? They had clung to my shirttails for so long I was thinking of them as little handicapped chicks that refused to leave the nest. Pushing them out on their own was the right thing to do.

When I finally connected with the villain that had my buddy, I made the trade without issue. I have to admit I felt a sense of relief once I got Heimlich back safe and sound. The little fella – a rat killing machine – is the last link I have to my mother and dead step-father. He could be a liability, but I just don’t have it in me to give him away. The funny thing? I KNOW I traded the dagger for him, but I’ll be damned if it’s still sitting right here in my pack. Weird. I’ll get rid of it the next chance I get.

So, to be truthful, Altdorf is one of my skeleton-filled closets. Although I was home, I was feeling antsy. After a few days I received a note from none other than Peeflander. The old fella missed me! He was in Averheim and requested my presence.

Although I could sense the urgency in the note, I was a bit hesitant. Although Averheim is my one of my favorite haunts, I had to leave that place under less than optimal circumstances. I made a few enemies while I was there – the Captain of the Guard being the most influential one. Still, the thoughts of Peapod trying to feed himself without assistance saddened me. If anything I should go to Averheim and try to hire him a nurse. Another adventure it is!!

It took a few days, but soon I was walking with the throng of people crossing the bridge into Averheim. And of course, who did I see? Jaimyn and Eisa! Come to find out, they also got letters from the old Peepshow. I was surprised at how relieved I was to see them. We talked for a bit – trying to catch up. Even though it was only a couple weeks, they definitely felt the loss of having me around. Jaimyn actually confessed that being a dwarf left him feeling somewhat empty inside. I patted him on the head and told him that I definitely could see why he felt so bad.

Right about then Heimlich bolted off – chasing a rat down into the trash pile on the boardwalk. I followed only to run smack dab into two people. This wouldn’t have meant all that much to me except I KNEW one of them, and the other seemed familiar as well.

The Lady (come to find out her name is Lise) is the same woman I stuck up for (and subsequently ended up in jail for as well). I still wonder what possessed me to do that. She reeks of money, and a lack of self-confidence. Daddy issues for sure. She was talking with this real “hard” looking guy. Bald, scarred, rugged…ohhhh and did I mention pompous? We’re talking Priest of Sigmar pompous! Brother Octavian – Keeper of the Light, Bringer of Salvation, Tripper of Guilts, and overall wet blanket. He was handing out morality lessons like Eisa hands out interracial kisses. Oh, I didn’t mention that to you? She had a little tryst with one of the guards at Asshatenburg’s. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not judgmental – whatever port in a storm I always say.

Well Lise immediately recognized me, and apparently the armored savior recognized me as well, but I can’t remember for sure where from. I know it wasn’t church!!! The next thing you know, I’ve got Jaimyn, Eisa, Lise, and Brother Octavian, all milling around introducing one another. I thought it was cute that they all bonded over one common thread – their admiration for me.

Within hours of running into these two people – the following occurred :

1 – Bar brawl between the Wharf Rats and the Fish. Who gets stuck in the middle? I’m sure you can figure it out.

2 – Missing person’s case (An old friend of mine, Rolfe Holler, is missing. It’s not like we’re related, but the guy was my drinking buddy in the old days. He actually got me into prize fighting. I guess one of the Dwarf’s friends is missing too…although he should confirm the guy isn’t just ducking him. Let’s face it; he’s not exactly the house guest I’d want to show up on my doorstep)

3- We went to some fancy place up on the plaza to meet with Pingpong. They made me change clothes, wear makeup, and a wig. Quite possibly one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. But then again, it could be a decent disguise. Peelandeatshrimp met with us, and then refused to give us any information. I tried to explain to everyone that it wasn’t his fault – that he has consistently weaved in and out of consciousness since I’ve known him, but they still badmouthed him. It sucks to get old.

4 – I went shopping for new clothes and took a bath per P’s encouragement. Lise went with me, which I must admit was pleasant. She has an eye for the latest styles, and that should help me blend in. Unfortunately I will have to break her heart sooner or later. I understand the attraction, and I don’t blame her. It’s just the way she goes.

5 – Discovered that Brother O. doesn’t drink. I have to laugh. You know why you always invite two Priests of Sigmar to go fishing and not one? So they’ll keep each other honest! If you bring one he’ll drink all of your beer!

That’s it for now. I look forward to finally getting information from P-cock. Apparently he needs us for something – we just need to get him to focus long enough to tell us. Bottom line? An adventure is an adventure. I’m in!

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JAN/2014

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Jan 21, 2014

A Vintner's Vantage

My Lady Defafnyr,

Jaimyn Yarekson has left Altdorf and has traveled to Averheim. Without good excuse to travel with him, I have waited a few days to allow him to travel ahead with plans of “bumping” into him in Averheim. The excuse did indeed manifest quite nicely as a message arrived from the old wizard asking me to come find him in the very same city in which Jaimyn was traveling ahead to.

Another coincidence, I met Double-D at a bridge just at Averheim if my memory is correct, and suddenly I saw Jaimyn as well. It is all a bit fuzzy as I was distracted with the most annoying large rat I’ve ever seen. At least I thought it was a large rat until it barked. It appears to be Otto’s friend which doesn’t surprise me. I cannot imagine him having may others that he cannot bribe with kibbles. Still he is a good sort so I was happy so meet him on the bridge as well as relieved to have found Jaimyn so quickly.

The rat “Heimlich” (who I will from here refer to as “Heiny” the way his tail shakes his with his exuberance) took off to the boardwalk to steal the treasure of dead fish. We came upon a Lady conversing with a …what do they call them, a brother? A knight? One of those chain mailed warrior for Sigmar. He even had “the book” at his hip. How quaint. He is daunting human male that I would not wish to get on the bad side of, so of course I shall not mention my own true opinions regarding the religion.

The Lady is Lise Meitner, who seems to have a great deal of knowledge of the affluent people of this city, which will be a boon for my tasks set about by you. In fact, in the first conversation, Captain Baerfaust was brought up.

It appears I am not the only one to have received a message from Peander, and neither Jaimyn or Otto was given any more information that I was regarding where we would find him. This subject came up during the course of an uneventful breakfast, save for a typical human male party of fists outside the Inn of which I deftly extracted myself from. Also in the course of breakfast, I discovered that Jaimyn has a friend that is missing, as does Otto.

I have grown fond of them both and will help them in any way I can in finding their missing friends as I work at delivering your messages to the three parties you’ve directed me to, and of course will be listening for anymore information on dark elf activity that may lead me to my sister and the murderous marked one that took her.

Of the Captain Baerfaust, he seems to not be well liked. I can see the wisdom of trying to develop a good repertoire with him considering your sideline shipping endeavors.

Of Gravin Von Alptraum, I have no information as of yet, but I am sure that the Lady Lise will be quite knowledgeable of one bearing the name of such an affluent family. And of the priest, I found the Temple of Verena and will seek the priest out at the first convenient opportunity.

Oh, and by the way, I ran into Adolphis Stark, though of course he did not know of me or of whom I work for. I will give him your good wishes if you’d like if I run into him again.

Of the wizard, we found him, and like most wizards, he was cryptic as ever and as surly a human as he was in our little adventure at the hunting lodge. He is no doubt a wizard of some power, though I am undecided if there’s anything likeable about him.

Averheim does indeed have a wine festival, though I am not sure how much time I have to insert you and your quality wares into the middle of it, but rest assured, I will set a base for your web in time.

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JAN/2014

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Jan 21, 2014

Grapes of Suspicion

In the end, good vanquished evil and Chaos was thwarted from gaining another foothold into these lands. The question was never answered for sure where the young Master had disappeared to and I still think it quite odd that his things were put in the basement rather than in whatever rooms he had occupied. All I can assume is that he was one of the first sacrifices in that ungodly room of dark rituals and that was the most convenient place to dump what he’d worn before sacrificing him as that ghastly room was on the other side of that basement. By the way, I found some elven wine from my Mistress’ competitor in the basement. It tasted quite inferior to the Defafnyr label.

I spend some time with the handsome Captain, and he asked that I stay with him when the rest readied to depart the hunting lodge to head for Altdorf. I told him that, alas it could never work out between he and me, his being human and I an elf. It was as good an excuse as any. A mix of races is not a sin if love binds them together, but I most certainly did not love the Captain and felt I had to let him down gently.

I kept a close watch on Jaimyn, following him at some distance and making note of a few of his activities. I could see nothing out of the ordinary and still wonder at why my Mistress is so bent on righting whatever wrong she committed to his clan. At least I do believe it was his clan. I am still befriending him to be sure, hoping to find the confirmation she wishes for me to find.

I sent a message to my Mistress, the moment I arrived in Altdorf, sending it to arrive at the first elven ship heading back home to ensure no time would be wasted in its travel The reply was equally as swift only a few weeks later, to my delight and gave me fervent hope that Jaimyn would move on from this shu resk’afar of a town. I should have no trouble making a reason to travel further with him to accomplish this. He proves to be a dwarf that holds no grudges against my race, thank Loec.

She gave me four directives. Two involved her business. The third to contact someone who may be able to help me, and thus her, on what course of action could be taken to right things with Jaimyn’s clan. The fourth directive was to continue to watch the dwarf which of course did not surprise me.

I find myself feeling less a spy following Jaimyn and more as though in my mind I am watching his back. I know the dwarf has no need of help in a fight, and I’ve seen him fight plenty and with lives in the balance. Still, with my suspicious ears twitching the way they are, I cannot help but feel a foreboding sense that whatever is next calamity hits, it will no doubt land on Jaimyn’s head.

If my mother could see me being protective of a dwarf, she’d laugh herself silly. My father would give me one of his stern looks and shove another “promising” young elven lad towards me in hopes I’d give up and give him grandchildren.

There will be no children for me, not until I find the dark elf with that rune burned into his hand who took the lives of my parents and stole off with my young sister. So I am sorry, Captain Baerfaust, could not but leave you behind. May you find love with a silly human girl who will dote on you and bear you many little brats. There will be no love nor family for me until my personal quest is done and the dark elf is dead. May Loec help me find Alicera. In the meantime, I make good coin working for Lady Danzlyra, owner of DeFafnyr Fine Wine & Silks.

*Without access to a Warhammer translation dictionary for High Elf to Common, I am using a drow one I have used for RP in MMO’s which can be found at: “Eilistraee’s translation dictionary”: http://www.eilistraee.com/chosen/language.php

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JAN/2014

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Last commented on:

Jan 21, 2014

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Stormy nights and swollen wounds.

or ... to suffer fools gladly

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